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Blogging Ethics :: Should We Be Congruent?


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I’ve had a very interesting experience since I wrote my post the other day about “naive mommy bloggers”. I’ve struggled with what to say, or even whether to address this issue again on my blog.

I believe that Aaron didn’t “mean any harm” (and he, by the way, does indeed write some great content most of the time). Although I must say that Jawad just seems to dig his grave deeper based on the comment stream of the original post.

But in the big picture, this isn’t a Mommy Blogging issue.

And this isn’t a Men vs. Women issue.

This isn’t even an eMom vs. Aaron Wall and Jawad issue.

It’s an issue of congruency.

As bloggers, authors, and internet publishers, should we take what we write seriously? Personally, I choose my words very carefully to ensure that what I write accurately conveys what I want people to hear.

No matter how much these men respect women, the words they chose in their original writings can be *taken* very, very differently.

Senator Joseph Biden recently made a similar error, describing Obama Barak as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”

What he meant by that, in his apology and clarification statement, “…Was that he’s got new ideas, he’s a new guy on the block… ” - and NOT that it “…seemed to undercut past black presidential candidates” - which is how it could be *taken*.

So here are MY congruent words:

Aaron and Jawad,

I respect both of you for your accomplishments and simply as human beings. I have chosen not to take anything that you said personally. My readers can make their own decisions about your words.

I would simply like to request that if you truly intended a different meaning in what you wrote, that you change your words to convey the true meaning of your thoughts.

As prominent men on the internet, it is my personal belief that you have a responsibility to your readers to be congruent with your words.

You can take or leave that belief.

But to be congruent with my own self, and to my readers, I would like to stand up and let you know that I think the words you chose will eventually hurt you more than they will help you.

And I don’t wish that upon you.

I do wish that your words and actions be congruent with the men that I know you are - talented, smart, and influential men in the online marketing space.

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