It’s been a hard couple of days for me.  I’m not telling you this so you’ll feel sorry for me; I’m telling you this because it explains why I’m writing this post.  Sometimes the hardest things in life are the ones that inspire us to be more than we think we can be.  My difficulties center around the fact that I’m about eight months pregnant, and things haven’t been going so well.   

First of all, don’t worry.  As far as I know, the baby is doing just fine.  She thrashes around in there in a way that leads me to believe she is going to be one heck of a rock-and-roll drummer.  If I poke my belly, she’ll poke back, which is so cool that it sometimes keeps me from going to sleep at night.  She rolls around and scooches herself so far down into my pelvis some days that I swear she’s trying to escape.  All-in-all, she seems to be doing great. 

I, on the other hand, have had a pretty hard pregnancy.  Thanks to an old car accident, the changing shape and size of my body has led to incredible back and hip pain.  There are days when I quite honestly have a ridiculously hard time just trying to walk to the kitchen.  Sitting hurts, standing hurts, laying down hurts.  And bless my poor husband and mother because they have to listen to me whine about it!   

When I do catch myself being too negative, I always try to follow it up with the fact that it’s all worth it.  When this little person joins us in January, I will fall so madly in love that I most likely won’t even remember the nights I’ve spent rocking and crying because of the pain.  I’ll just be too full of joy and contentment (not to mention being way too busy) to think about the times I slept propped up on the couch because it hurt slightly less than lying flat in the bed.  I will be the mommy of what I’m sure is the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world. 

I told Tamara yesterday, that in some ways I feel like I’m “doubly” pregnant.  No, I don’t mean because I’m so huge that there must be twins in there!  I mean that just as I’m incubating this little person, Tamara and I are really incubating our freelance business right now.  We’re making plans for it and trying to keep it well-fed so that when the time comes, it will be strong and healthy and will someday support us.    There really are a lot of similarities when you get right down to it. 

Weight Gain 

Gaining weight when you’re pregnant isn’t always fun, but it’s completely necessary.  In order for the baby to grow strong, Mama has to get bigger, too.  The same thing is happening with our business.  We’re reaching out to new people and making connections.  We’re bringing more clients on board. It’s scary to look at our roster and realize that we have more clients than ever to juggle and satisfy.  Mostly, though, it feels great. 

Nutrition 

What you put into your body affects the health of the baby and the mother, and the same thing is true for our freelance business.  We can’t just feed it piddly little one-cent-a-word projects, or it will end up all malnourished and won’t ever thrive.   We’re eating our vegetables and taking our vitamins so that this developing company will be strong enough to survive on its own. 

Backaches and Headaches 

As I mentioned, this whole pregnancy thing has been pretty hard.  I have experienced aches in places that I literally did not know existed eight months ago!  Likewise, there are some hurdles and “headaches” to deal with as a freelancer that Tamara and I didn’t necessarily foresee.  There are policies that have to be developed and procedures to learn.  Heck, something as small as keeping track of receipts is new to us.  It’s nerve-wracking and all, but it’s also pretty empowering to learn what we need to do in order to be successful business women. 

Heartaches 

In some ways, I have to admit that I feel like I’ve been a little robbed of the joy of pregnancy.  I’ve looked forward to this experience for most of my life, and to have it turn out like this is . . . well . . . frustrating, to say the least.  We’re facing our share of frustrations and concerns with our business, too.  Will we find enough work so that Tamara doesn’t have to get a part-time job?  Will the client we were so excited to get onboard turn out to be a dud?  I worry at least once a week that Tamara’s just going to call me up and say, “I changed my mind, and I don’t want to do this anymore.”  (Please don’t do that, Tamara!) 

Just like pregnancy, though, this whole incubation process has been a chance for us to nurture our embryonic business.  We’re laying the groundwork so that it can succeed, grow, and develop its own personality.  My last few months have been all about nurturing something, whether I’m reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting or The ASJA Guide to Freelance Writing.  Evenings alternate between birthing classes and online networking.  I do feel sort of “doubly pregnant” at the moment. 

Guess what, though?  I am so excited about 2008!  I expect to see the births of both a healthy baby girl and a sustainable business model in the next couple of months.  On the baby side of things, I’ve been watching what I eat and preparing for a natural childbirth.  On the business side of things, Tamara and I have studied and experimented to find the best approach.  Everyone is poised and ready for the incredible things that are now just on the horizon.  January is going to be the most amazing month of my life.

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