Lorna recently compared our freelance business to being pregnant. We were growing big with anticipation and expecting good things to come any day now.
I am happy to report that our “child” appears to have been born. With the turn of the year, it seems as though all our hard work is suddenly coming to fruition. Each morning, we get to our email inbox to find several new potential gigs. Our client feedback is really positive, and we are making wonderful new connections. We are committing large numbers of hours and working (in my opinion, anyway) like a well-oiled machine.
One of the most surprising things about this is that all of these brand-new clients are coming in at a higher rate than that to which we have been accustomed. Initially, we worked against the grain of professional freelance writers everywhere, lowering our prices to build a portfolio and get ourselves from point A (laid off) to point B (heating bills paid). As we have become more attuned to the ways of the freelancing world, our rates have risen considerably. And, to my surprise, the work just keeps rolling in.
In fact, we were recently offered a job that pays that elusive “ideal” rate for freelancers. Most good freelance writers I know consider themselves worth every penny of $50 an hour. Many of them really are worth that much. Not very many of them actually hit that mark. So when we landed this job, Lorna and I were obviously ecstatic. Not only that, but this particular project is directly in line with our niche: nonprofit work. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Of course, nothing runs as smoothly as one would like. As soon as I looked over the materials and started to get to work, the doubts and intimidation factor started to set in. I found a nagging little demon in the pit of my stomach yelling insults up through my esophagus.
“This is too good to be true; you must be missing something.”
“You’re going to screw this up.”
“The client is going to see right through you and demand a refund.”
As much as I tried to drown this demon with self-affirming thoughts and leftover holiday snacks, he just kept popping up. Even the reassuring feedback from Lorna did little to stifle the nagging worries.
So what’s going on? I’m a good writer, and I have the portfolio to prove it. The client hired us because we have a proven record of success in exactly what they want. They are paying a wage they feel is fair, and we agree. I’ve done about half the project so far, and it looks great. THERE SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM.
I planned on writing this post as an informational how-to on getting over the intimidation factor, but the truth is, I don’t have any of the answers. I don’t know if it has to do with being female (I hate gender generalizations like this, so I apologize for even putting it out there), being relatively new in the freelance world, or if it is simply a personal issue that I need to address.
Am I alone in this? Has anyone else had to battle those little demons inside?
Popularity: 5% [?]
 |
|||||
If you liked this article, please... |
|||||
 |
Subscribe Via Email |  |
Subscribe Via RSS |  |
Add to Technorati |
No magic answers to this one I’m afraid (though I do think it’s a common problem) - just wanted to let you know I couldn’t read any of the text from my feedreader (bloglines), only the headline.
I know headlines are a good attraction strategy and all that…:-) but you might need to check your feed
Joanna
Thanks, Joanna. I’ll check that out, as we haven’t changed anything on our end.
I don’t think it has anything to do with being female. I’m male and my partner and I started freelancing at the start of December.
Despite years of experience and many delivered and successful projects for both of us pre-freelancing, I still worry each time we deliver a project or even just send a quote.
Thanks for a great blog, it’s great to see someone in a different industry (we are Java programmers) going through similar issues.
I don’t think it has that much to do with age or experience either. It’s impossible to totally eliminate those because age and experience because even where no other factors are in play those have some effect.
I think the biggest issue is the double-edged sword of culture. We are indoctrinated that the individual is the highest unit and totally responsible but this nagging puritanical thread whispered that we’re flawed and can’t do anything right. That message is slightly stronger for women outside the traditional home arts but men are not exempt from a form of the message.
I go through this all the time! My husband has to keep reminding me that even when I´m worried and certain the client will hate my work, they always come back with rave reviews.
You just have to push forward and get it done. It´s hard, but afterwards you will be very glad you did.
I feel this, too. I think a lot of people do, not just writers. In fact, a few of my designer friends still get nervous whenever anyone purchases a product of theirs. They always wonder if the person who bought it will find a flaw. I think it’s human nature to wonder if you’re really good enough.
Ha! What a joy, sorry, to hear that I’m not alone in my occasionally feeling like a fraud even though I have wonderful high paying clients who send many referrals my way. I think it is the psyche of the freelance writer/designer/self employed. We have a thin line to walk with our egos. Too big an ego and our work really does suffer, as does our customer service, too little ego and we end up working for peanuts. I think the mid-line, the ideal tension on the tightrope, may just be that awful gut wrenching feeling we have as we hit send.
First of all, thanks to everyone for their support on this issue. In my past experience with these types of blogs (the ones that slap my emotions up for everyone to see), our readers have been great, and you haven’t let me down this time!
I’m starting to wonder how much of these feelings arise out of becoming specialists at what we do. Writing comes pretty naturally to me, and even though I work hard to maintain high quality standards, many of my gigs are pretty easy.
I forget sometimes that this isn’t so for non-writers. I think to myself, “why would he pay me $100 for something I can do with my eyes closed?” All the while he thinks, “I can’t believe she’ll write all this for only $100.”
I shell out hundreds of dollars to car mechanics to look at my engine. To them, it’s practically nothing; to me, it might as well be orthopedic surgery. But I pay it because it’s worth it to me. I have to remember that. I’m worth it to my clients.
I have a client that I adore- I adore the work. It’s editorial, not writing, but I kept wondering why he paid so well for something I felt was simple. Later, he told me that some of the errors I caught had already went through 3 people in his company!
You have to remember that different people are good at different things. Your last paragraph about the mechanic hits it on the head.
I’ve been a freelance non-profit grant writer for 11 years with an excellent funding record, and every grant proposal causes me “little demons” - how am I going to finish in time? What if we don’t get funded? will the client be happy with my work?
Sorry I can’t tell you the demons go away, but they do get easier to ignore : )