I have written a lot in the past about participating in a Mastermind Group. I am now part of a new one that is simply phenomenal - we meet every Friday morning at 5:00 am to get focused on our goals, offer each other support and resources, and keep each other motivated and inspired. Two of the members are realtors who are making more money now than ever before thanks to the fact that they choose their peer groups carefully (yes, they are swamped in November in THIS real estate market!!).

The Productivity Group I’m working on launching at the beginning of the year is based a lot on how we run our Mastermind Group - but if you want to tap the power of the Mastermind, you can start now.

Here’s some of the key things that have made my Mastermind Groups powerful:

1. Keep them small so that conversation can flow. We have 4 people in our group. I don’t think I would want more than 8 total.
2. Include a range of skill levels in your group. You want people that can mentor you as well as people you can mentor - keep in mind the Latin Proverb, “By learning you will teach, by teaching you will learn.”
3. Use the power of leverage. If I don’t follow through on my commitments, there is a price to pay. I make it painful enough to ensure I do what I say I will do.

Our meeting structure is simple and efficient:

1. We meet weekly at a certain time - if one of us is late, that person is buying breakfast for everyone.
2. Each person has the floor for a certain period of time - which gives everyone an opportunity to share successes and ask for help or guidance.
3. We sometimes hand out ‘assignments’ to each other. A few months ago, I was knee deep in working on blasting out my limiting beliefs about money. One of my group members suggested that I ask for money from someone every day for a week. Wow, it was hard, but I got SO much out of it.

There are lots of paid Mastermind Groups to join out there - if they offer the right networking and learning opportunities, I think they are quite valuable. Technically, I paid to be in my own group - but it was part of a larger program that included other seminars. I think it was the best investment I have ever made in myself.

If you have the urge to start your own Mastermind Group, feel free to drop me a line, I’m happy to offer tips if you need it. But if you just want to tap the power of a group of amazing individuals, stay tuned for my Productivity Group launching soon to start in early 2007 - it’s going to be an intense 12 weeks that will help you keep and achieve the New Years’ Resolutions you make for your business!!

My thermostat is set to 70 degrees. And life is pretty good at 70 degrees.

But one day, I wake up, and things are feeling a little chilly. And on that day I have a lot going on, so I just throw on a sweater and keep going. That night, I’m too tired to go downstairs and turn up the thermostat, so I throw on an extra blanket and fall asleep all warm and snug.

This goes on for a week or two, and soon, I wake up and find that things are really cold. I finally go and turn up the thermostat, but find that I also have to clean out my vents, because dust is flying everywhere. And I have to change the furnace filter, because it’s been a long time since I took care of that. And now my whole house needs cleaning, because I didn’t catch the dust in time.

If I had taken care of all of this stuff when things started getting chilly, my day wouldn’t be so filled with chores.

But now I am really uncomfortable, so I take care of it all, and kick my butt into gear. I clean the house. I get my furnace checked and cleaned. I go to Home Depot and buy several furnace filters so that I can change them often.

And life is pretty good again.

So, I got to thinking… what if I stayed on top of my game like this more often? And what if I stayed on top of my game in my business, AND in my home, AND in my relationship, AND with my family? Wow! That would be AWESOME! I’ll DO IT!
So a few weeks later, I wake up one morning and I am sweating. Whoa! What’s up with that?! I check my furnace and my thermostat - everything is fine. I guess things must be running more efficiently! Cool!

I’m SO on top of my game! I’m going to call my hubby to make plans for dinner: let’s go out and celebrate! And you know what? We haven’t been on vacation in a really long time - why don’t we talk about finally planning that trip to Florida?

I wake up the next day in a great mood - I’m feeling so good I’m going to call myself in “sick” today! My furnace is running so well on its own that I don’t need to check it - I’m going out to play! And I’m already getting ready for Florida - we are able to take the time away now, and you know what? We NEED this vacation!

I’ll make my to do list, and hopefully I’ll get everything done before we go… Let’s see, clothes? Check. Toiletries? Check. Pet sitter? Check. Change furnace filter? It’s running so smoothly right now - I’ll take care of it when we get back to town.

Ahh - sunny Florida. What a great trip it was! We tanned, we saw Mickey, we swam in the ocean. What great family bonding time! But it’s good to be on the way home… I can’t wait to get there and just flop on the couch.

We turn the key in the door, and uh-oh. Crap! What the #$%& is going on? The house is FREEZING! I go and check the thermostat - it’s flipping 58 degrees in this house! What the heck happened?

I hate this see-saw crap! One day it’s freezing - next I’m sweating, and now I’m freezing again! I can’t take it anymore! So… I think I’ll approach this differently and ask myself some better questions:

1. What are the consequences of living my life comfortably at 70 degrees? What will I never accomplish as long as my thermostat is always set at 70?
2. I love living my life at 80 degrees, but I get so darn sweaty! What would I have to believe about myself in order to feel more comfortable when things get warm?
3. As I look back over this pattern, I find I am most productive and energetic when I’m just a little chilly. How can I maintain this motivation as things get warmer?
4. Living life at 68 degrees is a little uncomfortable, but certainly not unbearable. How can I change my perception or my approach to living life a little chilly? What would transform the experience from “uncomfortable” to “exhilarating” and from “frustrating” to “exciting”?

Hhhmmmmm… these are good questions. I’m going to go set my thermostat to 72 degrees right now and ponder my answers…

It’s days like today that I am MOST happy, thrilled and excited about the fact that I decided to run my own home-based business again. It’s been years since I was able to go to my kids’ Halloween parade at school. And I’m so excited for the rest of the holidays throughout the end of the year - I haven’t been able to bake cookies, do early Christmas shopping, or host Thanksgiving in years as well. These are some of the traditions that make my life joyous - and working at home makes it possible for me to have my cake and eat it too!

Some of you are still in a job outside of the home, longing to take the leap into home based business-land. Are you ready? Well, if you can say yes to at least ONE of the following, you had better start giving a home business some serious consideration. Three of them should be a wake up call. If you have more of five of them you had better stop reading this blog right now and start on that dang business plan!! (Come back later though for help along the way!! )

Anyway, here’s the 10 Signs that You are Ready to Start a Home Based Business ::

Your work-life schedule has become unmanageable

You have a dream that has become an obsession

You are willing to do whatever it takes in order for your business to succeed

You dream of business plans and of marketing strategy

You are willing to start your new business in your off hours and give up some of your free time

You have the ability to go 2-6 months without any self-generated income [either by tapping into savings or by cutting expenses enough to live off of one income]

Your “I shoulds” and “I wish’s” are becoming “I musts”

You have a nagging feeling that you aren’t living up to your full potential, and you have decided to do something about it

You are getting little hints from the universe that it is time to put up or shut up

That little voice that used to say “I can’t do that” is now wondering “Hey, CAN I do that?”

[Hint :: yes, you can!! Do it now!!]

I’ve been really blessed to have a fairly successful blog - and I have really, really enjoyed growing it and finding new ways to add value. I am a true learn-by-doing person, meaning I love the thrill of just jumping in and winging it - faking it until I make it, I guess!

At the same time, I have found that building a blog is quite different than maintaining a blog - and there are new challenges to be faced if I want to take this blog to the next level (which I do, and if you wanted to help me with that, would you please add me to your Technorati Favorites list? Nudge, wink?!). Additionally, I have found that having a successful blog can be both a blessing and a challenge.

And I think I am going to really enjoy writing this post, because I don’t have a clue as to where it’s going to go - these tend to be my favorite posts because I usually get a few Ah-Ha’s along the way!

So I am sensing I am on the cusp of a transition - not in topic or content, but more of how I approach working on this blog. It started as a fun side-thingy, took off, and then I was left wondering where to go with it. I made my decision, the blog really took off, and then I was again wondering :: what the heck do I do with this success?

In other words, I was shouting, “SHOW ME THE MONEY!”

To be frank, I did this whole blogging thing backwards. I didn’t plan on it being my business, so I didn’t have a revenue plan in place for it - then I switched gears and my monetization strategies started working… but to nowhere near the degree it needs to in order to even come close to what I used to make when I worked outside of the house. (To be fair, I am saving about 30K a year already while working from home by eliminating day care costs and travel expenses)!

So back to my topic here - I have a great blog, even greater readers, and I need to change my growth strategy. More like tweak it, because everything I did right before will still continue to grow my blog.

So here’s my list of transitions - things that will need to evolve if I am to take this blog, and my business, to the next level:

1. Transition the following mindset:
   From :: “I run a Work at Home Parents Blog”
   To :: “I offer products and services that maximize revenue and productivity for work at home parents, which is supported by a popular blog on the subject”

   I hated to admit this to myself, but the backward-build wasn’t really working - I was trying to take something that inherently doesn’t make a lot of money and turn it into something highly profitable. There are great revenue-generating blogs out there - but as I have stated before, niche is KEY.

   I have had to let go of the Blog being the business - and once I did that, I found that a floodgate of ideas opened up to me. The Blog is now in its proper place in my business, a PR and lead-generation tool.

   ~

2. Transition the following belief:
   From :: “I need to have and maintain a successful blog”
   To :: “My blog is just one of the many tools I use to grow my business”

   It’s too easy to get caught up in the whole blogging ego thing for me - I just love the attention of incoming links and the fun of traffic spikes soooo much. But they started to work against me when I would get caught up in the effect rather than stay focused on the cause.

   The effect is traffic and new readers
   The cause is a solid business plan and great content

   ~

3. Transition the following approach:
   From :: “Seek to consistently give value”
   To :: “Seek to consistently share value”

   The wording is subtle, yes, and might even sound like the same thing. But the shift in mindset for me was huge. I used to approach this blog as a vehicle to give - but I wasn’t getting anything in return for my long hours spent on the site development.

   I believe that I am not adding value unless I am also receiving value. Now, I am talking in a true business sense here. And as a woman with a tendency to give, give, give, I realized I was taking my life approach - “give without expecting anything in return,” and transferring that in subtle ways to my business approach.

   (I think I need to break this out into a new post - I could go on and on about it!)

   The bottom line is that people who do a lot of giving need to be wary about how they give in business. I’m still ALL about making sure my readers and customers take away something truly valuable - AND I’m also ALL about making sure I receive something of value as well.

   ~

4. Transition the following priorities:
   From :: “I must add X because my readers will love it [”X” being a podcast, an interview series, etc.]
   To :: “The projects I take on must build my business”

   Oh, this one is so hard for me to type! I simply love putting together things that I know you will love!

   Yet, my lesson learned from the BlogJolt project is that while it is immensely rewarding, it is a huge time drain for a new business to handle. I’m committed to maintaining it because I love doing it, and because I will force myself to find a way to justify it in a business sense - but be ye not so silly as I was, putting the cart before the horse.Business initiatives should have a strong foundation in a revenue generation plan and will hopefully be fun to implement. It’s not exactly business savvy to find fun things to implement that you then need to figure out how to monetize. (HHhhmmm, sounds a little like blogging, eh?)

   ~

5. Transition the following intention:
   From :: “I want to take my blog and business to the next level”
   To :: “There is ALWAYS another level :: What can I do to consistently prepare for and foster growth?”

   This one may sound anal and like I’m being too much of an overachiever. And it sounds like a lot of work. But one of the biggest lessons learned in my NLP course is that change is so simple and so easy, if you can 1) access the right resources and 2) you have a recipe for success.

   In fact, after spending nearly 3 years working to rid myself of limiting emotions and beliefs, I was able to clear out more “garbage” in the last two weeks than in the last 3 years combined! Which leads me to wonder… what if we are making this much harder than it needs to be? What if success really is a simple process, if I just knew the recipe?

   To that end, I am working more closely with my mentors, taking time to master NLP, tapping into the minds of very successful friends, and rewriting my business plan. I am still a one woman show - so I must make every working moment count.

   My most successful moments have come from very simple ideas and processes. It boils down to staying focused, keeping the outcome in mind, and planting seeds for future growth at every opportunity.

So, what’s my outcome for this post? I’ve actually written it for myself more than anyone else - to remind myself of where my energy needs to be spent, and to put my business and blog back into perspective.

And also to plant some seeds for future growth… I’ll let the soil rest on those for now.

For all of you business owners out there, I think we can all agree that even though we work at home, we still have “bad days at the office”. Some days we just get discouraged. Others we wonder what the hell we are doing. And on the really bad days, we question whether we are really doing the right thing and how the heck we will ever turn it around.

There are times when calling it quits is the right decision - just like there are times when it’s the right decision to leave a job and move onto something else. Other times, we just need to overcome some bad emotions or limiting beliefs in order for us to access better resources within ourselves so that we can keep going until the light at the end of the tunnel starts to appear. This post is for those of you who want to get past a rough spot in your business and keep it going when you just can’t seem to get past a certain business hurdle or obstacle.

You may wonder why I bolded “access better resources within ourselves” above. It’s because I believe very strongly in the following two presuppositions about people:

1. The resources an individual needs in order to effect a change are already within them otherwise known as all you need is already within you
2. There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states of mind

So if we take these two presuppositions and put them into action, we can then discuss how we access unresourceful states of mind. It’s simple - we ask ourselves unresourceful questions.

Allow me to give you some examples of unresourceful questions:

1. What am I doing wrong?
2. Why do I keep messing up?
3. Why can’t I get the results I want to achieve?
4. What am I missing?

Think about the answers you would give yourself to such questions. You are telling your mind to go looking for answers that will continue to reinforce your doubt, frustration, and uncertainty.

The power to access better resources within ourselves is to be very conscious of the questions we ask in our own internal dialogues. And to be sure that we do everything possible to frame these questions in a way that will give us the best possible answers, allowing us to tap into our best possible resources.

So, without further ado, following are 10 resourceful questions to ask of yourself when your business isn’t going well - but you sure want your business to succeed!!

1. What would I have to believe about myself in order to know with 100% certainty that this business is the right path for me?
   ~
2. What would I have to believe about myself and my business in order to feel excited about the challenge of overcoming the current obstacle in front of me?
   ~
3. What am I faced with right now that is actually a great opportunity for growth?
   ~
4. What would I have to believe about this opportunity in order to take on this challenge with excitement and gratitude for the chance to make a change?
   ~
5. If I were to tackle this day [week, month!] with my most creative resources available to me, what would I do, think and believe differently than I am doing in this moment?
   ~
6. What would have to happen in order for me to feel as though my business is a success no matter what? What can I do now in order to make that happen?
   ~
7. What resources are available to me that I haven’t tapped into yet to build my business - are there friends, business acquaintences, or books that I know for certain can help me take my business to the next level?
   ~
8. What things do I already know about my business that will make me successful that I haven’t done yet - and what would make me feel excited about implementing a plan of action to do them immediately?
   ~
9. What accomplishments have I already achieved in my business - and what lessons can I take from those past successes that will enable me to repeat them?
   ~
10. If my future self could travel back in time to this moment and give me some advice, what would she/he say that would completely energize and motivate me to succeed?

Remember - the power of a great question lies in a very, very key component - you have to go searching for the great answer within yourself.

The first post in this series:
The Business Boxing Match :: Success vs. Failure

The second post in this series:
Fight the Inner Battle :: Sneaky Tools to Win

The third post in this series:
Go to the Mattresses :: Overcoming Obstacles vs. Untapped Potential

The fourth post in this series:
Claim the Victory :: Embrace your Success

Yesterday we got rid of some of your “brick wall” obstacles to success. Today we’re going to look a little closer as to why that brick wall was there in the first place, clearing the rubble away for you to throw your victory flag into the ground and embrace your success!

We all have five basic needs that we must meet on a regular basis. Everything we do, we do to meet one or more of these five needs:

• Certainty
• Variety
• Bonding
• Love
• Importance

Look back on your answers yesterday from question number three: ‘What benefit am I getting out of “X”?’

If you put on your psychology hat for one moment, you will begin to see a pattern emerge in your answers. Study them and determine which of these five needs you were meeting by feeling that avoidance value you worked on yesterday. In fact, you probably met more than one of these needs before yesterday’s process.

As I mentioned earlier, if you yank out an avoidance value, you will not be meeting that need in the same way any longer. Unless you put together a plan to meet that need in positive ways, you will go back to that old avoidance value to get your needs met.

So today we are going to get specific about this need, and create some new, positive ways to ensure that it is met on a regular basis.

Here again are another series of questions/sections - don’t worry, these are much easier emotionally than yesterday was! This process is most valuable if you again take the time to print this page out to sit down and write out your answers.

1 :: Choose one of the above mentioned five needs - the one that you were meeting the most by feeling yesterday’s avoidance value.

What does “X” mean to you specifically?

For example:

Importance means that I feel special. That there is a reason I am here on this planet.

Importance means that I know I am making a difference with my work.

Importance means that I know that I am loved unconditionally.

Importance means that I know that I contribute to the lives of my families and friends.

Or:

Certainty means that I feel safe, but I know nothing bad is going to happen to me or my family.

Certainty means that I am familiar with my situation, or my surroundings, and I have a feeling of comfort or being at ease.

Certainty means that I know what I am doing, that I feel I can take charge of a situation

2 :: You may feel you have tremendous potential, and you may even feel that you’re doing really well in your business. Is it really well compared to others? Maybe it is. But is it “really well” in comparison to what you’re truly capable of? Are you living up to your full potential?

Right now, close your eyes, sit back and relax because I want you to really get in touch with who you really are. Pretend for a moment that you are at the end of your life. And let’s also pretend that you lived your life to the fullest.

Look back on your life now and noticed the moments where you truly lived up to your full potential.

What are some of the accomplishments that you made, because you lived your life this way?

Who did you become, once you made the decision to hold nothing back in your life?

How did your business touch people, and change lives, because you made a commitment to come from your heart in all of your actions?

Look back on your entire life, and fill it in with photographs of your most cherished moments. Not just your business accomplishments, but the treasured moments you spent with your family and friends because you had the time and resources to do so.

Allow yourself to really feel grateful and proud of this life that you led. Really let it sink in and let the feelings radiate from within. Remember to put the expression on your face to match these great feelings you are experiencing.

What are some of the things that you say to yourself, as you look back on such a rich and rewarding life?

Take 10 to 20 minutes right now to write a page or so about this life that you just experienced. Write it as if it has already happened, in past tense.

3 :: Going back to your answer in number one (your need), and remaining in touch with the “You” you got to know in number two, answer the following question:

‘When I am at my absolute best, what has to happen in order for me to feel “X”?’

Again, these are your “rules” - meaning if “Z” happens, then I feel “X”. For example:

I feel important when I get great feedback from a customer or client.

I feel important when I have a really productive day and get a ton of stuff done.

I feel important when I am able to put my nose to the grindstone and add a new revenue stream to my business.

Or:

I feel certainty when I plan a project and know without a doubt I can complete it.

I feel certainty when I know I have enough income and revenue coming from my business for the next four months.

I feel certainty when I know I have my family’s and spouse’s support in my business

4 :: You really want to make it easy for yourself to meet this need on a consistent basis, in a way that serves your highest good.

So to really give you a lot of tools to work with, ask the following question of yourself to add to your answers from the previous question:

If I were living up to my full potential, what would be some ways that I could feel (importance, certainty, etc.) that I haven’t thought of before? How can I create this feeling from within me, based solely on my own thoughts or actions?

5 :: Lastly, and most importantly, schedule time every day over the next 30 days to read what you just wrote every morning before you start your day. It may sound ironic and funny, but feeling great emotions actually takes practice.

So take five minutes on a daily basis to remind yourself of what you’re capable of!!

You may be wondering about the friend of mine at the beginning of this series that hated to sell - though I was just like her, honestly, it wasn’t me. I coaxed, prodded, and finally just paid for her to come to this sales training event about a year ago.

We were able to completely reframe the way she percieved a sale. Instead of coercion, suddenly, sales was about helping people. Instead of pressure, it was about standing up for what she believed was the right thing to do for her clients.

I can happily report that today, my friend’s coaching practice has gone through the roof. She daily applies the lessons learned in that sales program, not just in bringing in new business, but as she “sells” her clients on new ideas and new business strategies.

So learning how to sell didn’t just save my life, it saved a few businesses along the way too.

~~

Even though this post concludes my series on values conflicts, it certainly doesn’t cover the entire spectrum of the impact of committing to personal growth to improve your professional business. You can count on me to write more on the subject, and to even put some more formalized tools together to help you truly get out of your own way, and make your business extraordinary. If I get enough requests to create an audio version of this series, I’d be happy to make it my first podcast!

Please drop me a line via my contact form or in a comment below if you found value in this series. I also work to be approachable, so if you have questions, by all means please let me know! I would especially love to hear from you as you experience success by going through this process.

Here’s to a successful business and a successful you!

The first post in this series:
The Business Boxing Match :: Success vs. Failure

The second post in this series:
Fight the Inner Battle :: Sneaky Tools to Win

The third post in this series:
Go to the Mattresses :: Overcoming Obstacles vs. Untapped Potential

The fourth post in this series:
Claim the Victory :: Embrace your Success

This is my third post in my Values Conflicts series, and today we go to the mattresses. Last week I wrote a post about asking tough questions of our ourselves and of our readers. Today I’m going to do just that. It’s a long post and I suggest you read it, print it out and take it to a quiet room when the kiddos are napping or when you have some quiet time for yourself. You will need to dedicate an hour or two to this process.

This series, and especially this post, is for those of you who are serious about overcoming obstacles and serious about taking your business to the next level. If you’re just interested, you may want to skip to some of my funny posts. If you’re committed to making a shift, read further.

You will never go for your dreams - business or personal - as long as you have more pain associated to achieving them than you do to not achieving them. So the bad news is that it’s time to associate some pain to not achieving your dreams. The good news is that your dreams are on the other side of this pain.

Think back on all of the missed opportunities, untapped potential, and half finished projects you may have experienced over the last few years in your business. What has stopped you? Fear? Procrastination? Overwhelm?

How much have you lost out on, because these emotions came up and hijacked your plans?

What has your lack of focus and procrastination cost you in terms of dollars, drained energy, and failed projects?

How is your fear holding back the growth of your business? How is it affecting your family and your health?

Your assignment from day one was to name your top six avoidance values. I want you to go to that list right now, and choose just one that you know in your heart is holding you back the most. I’m about to walk you through a series of seven questions, most of which will make you feel like crap. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Your assignment for today is to walk yourself through these seven questions. I will also dive into my old journal and reveal my own process of getting rid of self-doubt - quoting my own words exactly as written. I assure you it isn’t pretty.

If you start going through these questions, it’s rather important that you finish going through all of them. So commit now to doing all 7 before you begin because I don’t want to leave you in an emotional funk without resolution! (By the way don’t go through this process with “self-doubt” if it’s not on your list - go through these questions with your own “emotional worst enemy”.)

Onto the questions:

1 :: What does “X” mean to me specifically?

For example, what did self-doubt mean to me specifically? Here are some of my answers:

A feeling of not trusting myself. More specifically, I have opposing wants and needs and values and I do not trust myself to make the right decision.

I am unsure I can produce the results I want to produce.

A feeling of sadness as I wonder if not I am capable of making my dreams come true. And if I can’t, am I really enough to be loved as someone so insignificant?

Be specific in your answers, and come up with at least five.

2 :: What has to happen in order for me to feel “X”?

These are your “rules” - if ‘blank’ happens then I feel self-doubt. Such as:

The results I want don’t happen: these could be internal or external. I could want to feel productive, but be unable to do so. Or I could want to make a sale, but the sale falls through.

I have to lack an understanding of how a result will be achieved.

I might be able to see the result that I want, but I will be unable to feel that could really happen, or I question the validity or practicality of what I want.

Someone I care about questions my judgment or a decision I made.

You will notice that some of these rules are based on yourself - things that only you can control. And some will be based on others - things you can’t control. Just notice your rules, and notice who is in control of your emotions with the rules you currently have in place. Again five answers.

3 :: What benefit am I getting out of “X”?

You will find that we always do things because we get some value out of them. this is where you need to be dirt level honest with yourself, because it is important you understand why you make these choices. My benefits for self-doubt were:

I always have a compelling future, but rarely live it. I get to hold onto the illusion of my future perfect life rather than living in the moment where myself and my family needs me the most.

I get to keep my peer group, where I am important and significant, rather than risk being insignificant amongst a group of superstars.

I get to continue to blame myself and my circumstances, and get wrapped up in my “story” rather than risk uncertainty and just take action.

At this point, you will probably be crawling in your skin, as I certainly was. This stuff is hard to admit, but is critical to getting past it.

4 :: By indulging in “X”, what is it costing me?

Currently, all you see is the pain of action. Yet it is important that you get associated to the pain of inaction. So what was self-doubt costing me?

I am teaching my children to doubt themselves, not trust themselves, to live in fear and sabotage their own self-esteem by my example.

I am losing the great identity I worked so hard to create. I will never inspire others or lead them anywhere except mediocrity as long as I stay in self doubt.

I am leading an incongruent life as a trainer and leader. I question my own integrity, if I tell others to believe in themselves yet I am unwilling to believe in my own self.

At this point in the process, I was a blubbering, crying mess. You might be too. That’s okay. Again, five answers.

5 :: What do I have to forget in order to feel “X”?

I’m going to shift gears here and going ask you to do something a little unexpected: get up and get a glass of water. Go walk around the house. Or simply stand up and shake your body out. I want you to shake off all the feelings I just brought up. Come back in less than 4 minutes and we’ll start building up your inner resources again from the ground up.

Now take a few moments, close your eyes and think of a time when you had one of your greatest successes. Picture the situation in your mind, make it bright and bring it close to your eyes. Say to yourself what you say when you are kicking butt and taking names! But the expression on your face you have when you know you ROCK, and there is nothing stopping you! Be sure to really get in touch with this moment before you move further.

Only now are you ready to answer this question, “What did I have to forget in order to feel self doubt?”

I have to forget that every decision I have made has served my highest good even when appearances initially seemed to appear otherwise.

I have to forget that I have already been totally successful in overcoming awful things in my past.

I have to forget that what I resist, persists, so that I’m actually accelerating and creating more self doubt by holding onto these feelings.

This question is so important, because you wouldn’t be where you are today if you hadn’t already achieved wonderful things and made some great decisions along the way. Remind yourself now of the accomplishments you have made, because you deserve acknowledgment for that. [[This is me hugging you if you need it right now]]

If you can come up with seven or eight answers that would be great, but again, make it a minimum of five. Push yourself if you have to.

6 :: Why be free of “X” now?

It’s time to create some leverage. We will do anything if we have a big enough “Why”. Until now, I let you off the hook with five answers for each question. On this one, you need to come up with a minimum of eight, if not ten answers if possible.

So why be free of self doubt now?

I don’t want to teach it and I cannot help but teach it if I don’t let it go.

I must find a way to motivate myself in positive ways.

I’m really lying to myself about who I think I am if I never do what it takes to actually succeed.

I will only look forward to living my dreams, but never actually experiencing them… cheating myself, my family and my Creator out of experiencing the authentic me and the life I was born to live.

It would remove a very large barrier to action.

If I succeed even a little bit, I will be being more true to myself than I have ever been before.

If I don’t let go of self doubt go it will be the biggest source of pain in my life, and my biggest regret.

You’re almost done! But push yourself to come up with enough answers until you get to a point where you can feel in your gut you know you have enough reasons to get rid of this completely disempowering, crappy, limiting avoidance value.

7 :: What are my new rules for “X”?

You are now going to consciously choose what has to happen in order for you to feel this avoidance value. And you’re going to make it so darn hard to feel that it will never get in your way again!

The key to creating these new rules is using words like “and”, “consistently”, “always”, “must” and “never”. One other key - create these rules so that you are in charge - you simply can’t creates rules that other people need to meet in order for you to feel a certain way. You will never be in charge of yourself, or your business, if you base your emotions and reactions on others’ choices.

So now what has to happen in order for me to feel self-doubt?

I must consistently show no progress towards my results and my goals.

I must consistently focus only on my past failures, and consistently always forget my past successes.

I must never be willing to learn from my prior mistakes, and consistently find no value in my life to date.

I must consistently ignore every single thing my heart tells me to do.

I must consistently forget all of the love, happiness, success and contribution I have experienced by following my heart in the past.

Only when I choose to do ALL of the above things will I feel self-doubt. If even one of these things aren’t done, I will NOT feel self-doubt.

~~

Whew! I have walked myself through this process with several different avoidance values. Each time I get through all seven questions, I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

It’s kind of like I have been on a path to a goal, with a big brick wall in the way. I would constantly stop and try to break down the wall with a hammer - or even a jackhammer for that matter! But after going through this process, it’s like the wall has vanished into thin air.

By going to this process, we’ve just eliminated one of your highest avoidance values. You probably feel like celebrating, but we are not done yet. You can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the hard part is over, though!

It is important to “be responsible” as we get rid of his mental junk. We hold onto avoidance values for a reason - they meet our needs in various ways. If we don’t get rid of an avoidance value and replace it with something positive, we risk getting sucked right back into old ways.

Tomorrow I will help you to identify the basic needs you were meeting with this avoidance value and put a plan of action into place to meet that same need in positive ways.

The first post in this series:
The Business Boxing Match :: Success vs. Failure

The second post in this series:
Fight the Inner Battle :: Sneaky Tools to Win

The third post in this series:
Go to the Mattresses :: Overcoming Obstacles vs. Untapped Potential

The fourth post in this series:
Claim the Victory :: Embrace your Success

Perhaps you will recognize yourself in the following scenario…

I’ve come across some really wonderful online marketing tools, success groups, and knowledgeable professionals that I have recommended here on my blog along the way that have taught me tons about creating a business around a blog (as you may or may not know, this wasn’t my original plan).

I could have dropped hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on the extensive selection of learning tools that are available online these days. In fact, a few years ago, I probably would have done just that :: and I would have started working on all of them and finished none of them. Sound familiar to any of you? Or have you jumped from one ‘business opportunity’ to another, hoping that this next one will work out for you?

I am all for smart educational investments, especially those that help us grow professionally and personally. But unless you work to actively uncover and eliminate your values conflicts, no investment you make in yourself will give you the results that you are seeking.

So here’s my dirty little blogging secret :: my blog is not really about running your home based business. My blog is about running YOU. Sure, I’ll give you my business tips along the way, and I’ll share my lessons learned in the hopes that you don’t make the same mistakes that that I did. When you can run yourself, running the business is a piece of cake.

My true goal is to teach you to manage and run your emotional states ::

• Motivation when you’re feeling frustrated
• Action when you feel like procrastinating
• Belief in yourself when you doubt that your business is going to make it
• Trust in your inner wisdom when you have to make tough business decisions
• Strength and determination when you must get outside of your comfort zone in order to make a difficult step to take your business to the next level.
• Courage to take your biggest business mistakes and turn them into opportunities for growth
• Faith in your abilities when faced with the massive uncertainty of when your next paycheck will arrive
• Balance when you are working too many late nights and your family really wants you

Do you remember, the most important thing I said yesterday? I’ll say it again in case you missed it:

WE WILL ALWAYS DO MORE TO AVOID PAIN
THAN WE WILL TO ATTAIN PLEASURE.

My sneaky simple tool that I will start to discuss tomorrow is for us to get conscious about what we associate pain and pleasure to. I say ’simple’. I don’t mean ‘easy’.

Can you imagine how much power you would have over yourself - and your business - if you were consistently able to pick and choose what was painful and boring, and what was fun and rewarding?

Where would your business be today if you actually got excited every time a problem came up?

How would your revenue increase if you knew with 100% certainty that you would deliver on every promise you made - to yourself?

Tune in tomorrow for the third installment in my Business Boxing Match series and find out how!

The first post in this series:
The Business Boxing Match :: Success vs. Failure

The second post in this series:
Fight the Inner Battle :: Sneaky Tools to Win

The third post in this series:
Go to the Mattresses :: Overcoming Obstacles vs. Untapped Potential

The fourth post in this series:
Claim the Victory :: Embrace your Success

This upcoming weekend I am gearing up to be a trainer at the sales seminar that saved my life. I’m super-duper excited. In honor of this, and the critical material we cover in the live event, I’m going to do a series of posts this week on Values Conflicts.

Huh? Values conflicts? Yes - they are the single biggest destroyer of small business. Values conflicts are responsible for creating the obstacles we must overcome to succeed. Allow me to explain:

We all have good values we hold in high esteem. For most of my readers, I can guess at several of them: Family time. Success. Love. Growth. Connection. Comfort. Freedom. Achievement.
We also have values that we would do just about anything to avoid. Rejection. Fear. Anger. Frustration. Humiliation. Self Doubt. Unworthiness. Lack of Control. Guilt. I’ll call these avoidance values.

Values conflicts arise when we percieive a risk of feeling one of our avoidance values in order to move towards one of our good values. Here’s the important part - we may not even be conscious of the perceived risk. Allow me to give you an example:

I had a friend that was preparing herself to be a Small Business Coach. She found an opportunity to be mentored by someone with extensive credentials, and who also offered to help her build her coaching business. She is the kind of person that would be an extraordinary coach - focused, experienced, well-read, and very influential and admired in her local community.

But she hated to sell.

In fact, it wasn’t just a hatred - it was a downright replusion of the whole idea. Mention sales to her, and she could only think of a used car salesperson with a hard-close rehearsed and at the ready.
Not surprisingly, her coaching practice wasn’t doing very well. As a business owner, whenever she had an opportunity to ‘pitch’ her business, she said the right things, but her voice was timid. And her body language was completely incongruent with the words coming out of her mouth. She would state that she is a great coach that got results. But she sounded like she was a timid mouse, and she would even physically recoil as she spoke.

My friend had values of success, contribution, and hard work. She was enthusiastic and likable. She also had a ton of guts, determination, and a willingness to go the distance to make her business a success. Not to mention talent - loads of talent.

But she had one teensy weensy avoidance value - rejection.

There is one rule that I want you to remember when it comes to values. So important I’m going to shout it out in all caps and bold letters:

WE WILL ALWAYS DO MORE TO AVOID PAIN
THAN WE WILL TO ATTAIN PLEASURE.

My friend had all of the right ingredients for success - she already posessed everything she needed to make it BIG as a coach. But because she had to risk rejection in order to grow her business, she consistently acted in ways that did NOT support her business, sabotaging her own success. Every week she took one step forward and two steps back. And she was suffering emotionally, financially and even physically because of it.

~

This is just one example of how an avoidance value can destroy a business. If you can see even a little bit of yourself in this picture, if you hear a little whisper of recognition, then return all week for some daily insights and even some action items into managing values conflicts :: for your self and for your business.

As momtrepreneurs, solopreneurs, and even dadtrepreneurs, working at home usually means that we don’t have someone else to hold us accountable for our decisions and actions. Because of this, we don’t have someone who can objectively review our business actions and call us on our own bull$#it when we choose to act on an avoidance value instead of a good one.

Think it’s easy to spot in your business? Probably not. But here’s a start:
Action item for today :: List out your top 6 good values (the things you love to feel) and your top 6 avoidance values (the things you hate to feel).

The next post in this series is Fight the Inner Battle :: Sneaky Tools to Win

I know, I know, three posts in one day? I should be writing my eBook!!

But one of the BlogJolt members is going to be interviewed on Fox News tomorrow - and I just HAD to spread the word!

Jill Koenig was a self-made millionaire before the age of 30, runs the GoalBlog and has a fantastic program called The Time Commandments. We are also BlogJolting her this week.

When it rains, it pours! Jill - congrats and enjoy YOUR day in the sun - I’m puttin’ my glasses on girlfriend!