“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
- Clarence B. Kelland
To all the dads - whether you realize it or not you are a role model to your children. Even when you may not be aware, your children are observing your behavior and emotions and learning things that may be with them for life.
As much as I would like to say that this is always a good thing, kids will also observe things that might not always be the lesson that you want them to learn. The other day I had come across a site, ToddlerDaddy, where I found a post on how to tell you spend too much time working at home.
Sometimes seeing your children impersonate how they see you can be a real eye-opening experience. It can also be a heart-warming experience.
Think back to your own childhood - how has your life be influenced by the actions and decisions of your own father?
My dad has had various positions in the IT field and I am quite positive that my experiences of visiting him at work and hearing him talk about work shaped my own career path to follow in very similar footsteps. The evenings we spent tossing the baseball or football around have likely played a part in why I enjoy these activities so much with my own children.
Things were not always picture-perfect for me as a kid, as I certainly heard my share of “no” or “in a minute” responses. I’ve been guilty of that myself as well, although I am doing a pretty good job at recognizing that and doing my best to make the time for my kids when they need it.
In the next few days, I want you to pay special attention to the things you do, including how you talk about work, how you interact with your wife, whether you complain about having to do chores or just about anything else. As you examine the way that you handle these situations, think about whether you are delivering the message that you want your kids to learn.
By recognizing the fact that your children are watching how you live your life day in and day out, you’ll be sure to set a positive example for them and be teaching them how to live their lives.
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If I can fast forward this topic further into the child’s adulthood…
I read in a relationship self-help book that, as children, we see our parents as the model couple- ie, the way couples *ought to be*. This is simply because we (rarely) have (an)other set of couple-hood to observe, so what we see at home must be how the universe is “supposed” to be like.
And, as the child goes into adulthood & opinions start to form, we typically choose to emulate close to what our same-gender parent is like, or the *complete* opposite, for their respective reasons of liking or disliking what we observed.
That is a really great point. There have been a few things that I observed with my mom and dad and thought that was just how it was supposed to be.
Thanks for the additional feedback!
Thank you for this post!
I had a very interesting childhood where my father was the one who stayed home (and worked part-time) with my younger brother and myself when I was in elementary school. I definitely grew into the man and father that I am now because of his model, both consciously and sub-consciously.
Avi, you’re welcome and thank you for the feedback. That is great to hear that you can credit your dad as a key influence on the man that you have become!